Today was worse than most. I felt like crap and couldn't really stand to talk to anyone. Yesterday I decided to give up on things and now...the effects are starting to show. Looking back at it now, it was nothing which I valued so dearly.

It's better to feel nothing instead of depressed. Much better.

Bye

A Disturbing dream:

My mom was spreading dust around the house for goodluck. I decided to help her out. I grab a handful of dust and start sprinking it everywhere, but then I accidentally put some on some spillt water. The dust begins to puff up like a sponge into a pink color.
"Mom, what is this?"
"Ashes"
"Ashes?"
"Ashes of a close friend of mine"
I collapse to the ground, panicking with my hands trembling with ashes. I was spreading ashes around the house. I hyperventilate.

I wake up, taking in deep breaths of air.

Bye

The weirdest dream:

I had a dream where I could turn into a dog. But then after changing into a dog so many times, my head and stomach started to hurt. So a doctor came over and gave me a check up. He said that I was physically fine and that it didn't make sense why my head and stomach were hurting so much. I told him about my ability to turn into a dog to see if that was part of the problem. But all he asked was, "Why are you even turning into a dog? Isn't being a person enough?" Then out of nowhere, I tell him that I turn into a dog because it's too depressing being a person. I tell him that when I'm a dog, I don't have any thoughts or feelings, and I loved that feeling. Then in my dream I started crying uncontrolably, it was too much to bear.

I woke up out of breath because I heard moaning. I realized it was my own. How? My eyes were wet and there were tears down my cheek.

Bye

The 'what if's scare me. This wild imagination tends get in the way of everyday life, and yes, it gets annoying. I've probably looked too deep into this..but it's still something I'll think about. Although it keeps me from blinking, it creates a brief smile that makes it all worth it.

Bye

A far away post.

I'm at Garret's right now reformating my computer. It's taking longer than expected.. But once everything's done, it should be worth the sleepless night.

One last thing..
Frowning is better for you! Smiles are overrated!

Edit:
Finished reformating, computer's back to normal!

Bye

I heart the seventh grade group. Heh

Bye

Disgust is a strong negative feeling of aversion or disapproval. You may have a sickening feeling of revulsion, loathing or nausea.

Sounds about right.

Bye

This is a pathetic situation. I mean really pathetic.
And guess who's on both sides..

Bye